im the size of a whale's booger, and so r u.

so after my fascinating intellectual and spiritual enhancing day with the movie <> and research on scientology for no special reason

i feel like a speck
and i wanna make myself a bigger speck.

those of u who heard/ watched the movie and hated the ending cuz u guys just thought they were aliens?
maybe you guys are right
BUT
i watched it in a different way
and i liked it.

well u see the drawing found in lucinda's mobile home
obviously everyone should be able to associate the prophet person on the bottom left to be the character lucinda
the god like figure on top right to be the "aliens" (in which case i really believe its just the tool for a strong connotation of an "outside" being, of which would be easier to accept for us through the term of "aliens" i guess, but aliens dont necessary have be the ET type alien, alien itself just pretty much means its something of which we dun know of)
and the ball thing in the middle.
and that ball thing is the ball thing that took the 2 kids.
and so why is that ball thing now seen as a spaceship?
why can't it just be a symbol for a vehicle of sum sort that flies and goes outer space?

you can really substitute anything in those 3 aspects
the imp. thing (to me that is) is the whole idea behind it
so therefore i felt deeply influenced by this film

when i came out of the theater the first thing i sed to the bf was
"i feel sad" haha
cuz we're SOO small
like, SOO small
im not even talking about the universe
im just talking about MAMMALS
we're no where near the size of a bluewhale's testicles
and we're constantly comparing us to the "outside" world?
we loose even to those animals on the same damn planet.

and yep
as human beings
when we're troubled
and depressed
we go to religion
but not just any religion
we went to scientology
of which after watching numerous utube clips on
plus reading it on wiki
still doesn't really tell me how i would gain the great stuff the believers claim they did on the videos

i mean its cool
having more technological graphs and charts and triangles and stuff to look at and analyze
but overall it just still sound like a new but similar set of "stuff"
which those stuff didn't really get human beings to be enlightened
(cuz if we did then i won't be here reading scientology trying to find out what the hell it actually means)

i think i should start writting something
something like a new invention
something thats like "OH GOD its DIFFERENT"
and make people really reflect on stuff
cuz i know people always say
"reflect on the stuff u already have and u'll feel good"
but the point is
if we all just reflected and made ourselves feel good
nothing is done
so why dun we find the good feeling through creating something new?
and so imma create something new
like a new handbook/ manual thing for university teachers
im so honest with u
i really think all my high school teachers who i didnt really think was that great
are so much better than the people here lecturing me
or as they think they are lecturing

i've just gone through the f-ing tough week with professors are how bad they can be
wish me luck.

haha