20091003

i want to love...


just finished watching "the proposal" online
yes, another very normal, expected story
and yet again
it made me
AND my bff cry.

last year
i said to myself
im sick and tired of getting to know someone new
and yet again
i dated someone completely new.

the past week
i read an essay by a student
topic being "what would i ask if i had the chance to meet a gypsy"
she asked about her love life
and ended with the exact line
"im tired of getting to know someone new"

today
i saw that movie
probably had one of our first arguments
and thought to myself
maybe i should meet someone new.

i cried throughout the movie
not cuz i feel intact with the events in the movie
not because the story was especially well written
nor because the actors was exceptionally good
it was because (now i figured)
that im actually dying to love.

i need that rushing feeling
of adrenaline or something
to just gush through me and tell me
im ready to devote for something new.

i miss crying
i miss loving
i miss caring
i miss missing
and lots and lots
of those emotions that people are trying to give up
cuz they're tired of it.

yet now i seek for them
and im thirsty for each and everyone of them.

what a complete fool.


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